Sharing my process of self realization as one and equal to all life.

So I am seeing some interesting things within my experience of living here in Thailand - although I always tend to say that no matter where I go, people are in essence very much the same. One of my fellow teachers I have met at the school here was talking with me, and we were discussing how people are held in check and supressed as who they are, extensively, by belief systems. I asked him if he had ever heard of the book 1984 by Orwell and he had never heard of it, so I lent him a copy. Within it there are many things described and depicted that are quite parallel in principle to what we are experiencing today as our world experience. After a few days into it, he made some comments on the eeriness of the idea of the "Big Brother" watching over everything and everyone, and having total control.

And I realised - many tend to see 1984 as a bleak future that is yet to come, because often we develop our expectations/idea of this kind of scenario with specifically what is depicted in 1984 - in other words getting caught up in the detail of the exact format rather than seeing what is shown in principle, so that it is able to be seen no matter what permutation it takes on.

And in this I realised that 1984 is already here - and perhaps has always been here, in principle, though as time carries on, this principle and all forms it takes on seems to intensify as it becomes more palpable, more manifested.

Because big brother already exists, it has in essence always existed - and not even as some exterior, uncontrollable force that does the work of controlling us for us - but rather big brother exists here now AS US. WE ARE BIG BROTHER, each and every one of us. Big brother exists within each one as each ones MIND - the mind developed and shaped through beliefs systems/social norms/expectations/perceptions of reality and self. So everytime one attempt to express themself - big brother always steps in - and quite effectively so as it is unseen - as the mind, which will then hinder, conditionalize, compromise and marginalize ones own self expression. So much of what we do must fit between the lines of what we know to be acceptable to other, to our society and world around us - and this is the knowledge of the mind that know how things "work" and thus fear allowing oneself to express unconditionally.

Have a look - does one ever truly express themself unconditionally, without any fear of judgement, of what others might think or what is typically accepted of them? The mind - as what you've designed and considered to be your reality - will tell you, dont say this, dont do that - you might get hurt, get judged, get put in jail, be alienated or deemed evil or a heretic. We have drawn so extensivley our lines of self limitation through what we have defined as good and bad in this world - be good, as what is pre-defined by self and society as good and acceptable - or else you are bad. And of course these are nothing but poor ideas of our reality and what is functionally practical for each one to live and express themself - is the good really good if it is limited to someone elses idea of good? Was it understood by self as common sense or maybe what has always been accepted by self as it is all self has ever known as what has been tuahgt by society? If you did not for yourself decide it was good, then whos idea of good is it and why are you accepting it? Are these beliefs and conditions/expectations serving all life equally to practically function sustainably in this world? Have a look - all that has ever existed that is clearly not in the best interest of life, and our experience here now has always been here and have not been changed or affected in the slightest by these norms and ideas of good - rape war murder starvation etc still prevail, no matter how righteous our beLIEfs. All the good in the world has not changed a thing - yet this is but idea of good, which is only anchored and defined by an idea of bad - is good that is dependent on the bad really good, or just a poor interpretation/idea of it?

So what is the point of living this way? What is the point of conditionalizing and marginalizing ourselves, only out of the fear of being judged, hurt or at the worst killed ? If we are not really LIVING and expressing who we really are free and unconditionally, then why fear death? Are we not dead already? Every day killing ourselves, by constantly surpressing and marginalizing our self expresion and yet death is still feared - the absurdity! We all die - this is certain - so would it not make sense to in death be able to say one never lived life limited and conditioned to the fear of death? To say that we actually lived and expressed ourselves as who we are freely and unconditionally?

Big brother is everywhere - we wear clothes because we are afraid of what others might think of us if we do not , or at worst are put in jail for it - here in Thailand women are so self conscious about being judged that in 30+ degree weather they will wear shirts at the beach. Try talking about your sex life openly and without fear of judgment in a daycare - you will no doubt be pure evil in the eyes of many for openly and innocently speaking truth without fear - and the silliest part - this judgment was never real! The judgment only actually exists in the mind of man - there is nothing it can do to you, it cannot hurt you, yet we fear it still. Even in death itself - the death of one in a world that does not permit life to be expressed really as unconditionaly and free - is this really death in a world where living life means to be put to death? Are we not killing life in some form always? Are schools not destroying childrens freedom to express themselves?

Yet we fear fear fear - even as I write this, I share much of what I'm discussing inside myself, my own big brother as my mind - having thoughts of fear of what others might say or judge or argue. We fear what other can do to us (what others can apparently do to us). Yet - is this fear, too, really real? Can another really do anything to us, or, as I speak of how we monitor ourselves with our own big brother as the mind - has it just been us doing it to ourselves all along? Has this fear that we've chosen to allow within ourselves and thus exist as actually simply been the experience of ourselves manifested? Can death itself, brought in the form of another killing you, really even then control you, or is it merely a release from, as I've said, a world where we are not really living in the first place? If I truly live life unconditionally while I am here on this earth - then what does death even mean to me, even if it comes soon? I am here, and  I am living! And to live truly is to live without fear of death. Would I rather die on my feet, or keep living on my knees?

Life as what is REAL will always remain - because it is who we are, WE ARE LIFE - and who you are is not able to be chosen or escaped. It is only the beliefs, the images, the ideas we carry that cease to exist when the cleanse of death descend upon us.

We as who we really are are not living - quite the contrary - we are dead, like zombies or programmed systems,  enslaved to the mind as existing within and as the mind  only living out and following that which we were programmed to be and become which is not really who we are - and again one only need to wake up and have a look around to see this - pain and sufering are EVERYWHERE in this world, sometimes hidden from eyes, sometimes so obvious it make one cry at the sight - this world we have created for ourselves is an atrocity and it is not LIFE, we do not exist in the interest of LIFE as ALL LIFE CONSIDERED EQUALLY, THIS IS NOT WHO WE ARE. And if one step in to say yes, this is who we are - realize that it is because it has been said so - it was chosen by us - so it is in the end, it is up to us. No god did it to us - god exist in the mind of man - no government did it to us - government only exist in the mind of man. Will we stand up and say until here no further will we allow this, this is unnacceptable, this is not who we are - or will we continue with no self respect, with no understanding, and keep finding ways to believe things are fine this way?

So a suggestion to my self, and any who share this as self as COMMON sense - stop the mind - as your own big brother - as the thoughts, feelings and emotions that dictate your life experience and direct and influence you - that play you like a puppet on strings as a predesigned systematic existence - choosing what to do and not to do, all according to the polarities of the mind, all out of FEAR. To stop fear is to stop the mind - only then do you exist as you are and it is beyond knowing - it is unconditional expression me HERE as self trust. Trust yourself - you are not the mind.